|
_ _ _ _ |
| My Friends
Beaky
My World Otacon's Diary
My Gaze My Choice |
Charshy Shar-shee, n. f, slang - nickname given by little sister.
Describes less-than-average gamer-girl-geek with an obsessive streak
and passion for writing.
Alt - Weirdo. |
06/05/2003 - 4:00 pm
~ Me in hell? ;_; I'm sorta pagan-shaped. ~
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Very Low |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Very High |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | Low |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | Low |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Very Low |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Low |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | High |
| Level 7 (Violent) | High |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | Moderate |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | Moderate |
You're lemon yaoi. You are a perpetually horny
freak. But hey, who cares, lemons are life.
What kind of yaoi are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
FLAT
(results contain pictures) What kind of ANIME BOOBS do you have?
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EXCUSE ME. I'm a 32B and proud! XD
Cocaine.
You like to talk,
you like to run,
but most of all you like to have fun.
Which drug should you be hooked on? [now with pictures]
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... I like coke. Coca-cola, that is. O.o
Only the most imporant people to me read my
Livejournal
Why do people read your Livejournal?
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Wow, and I don't have an LJ. XD
Goddess of green. You probably prefer to be outside
where you can get some fresh air!
What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
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Doesn't seem like me, but oh well. ^^
05/05/2003 - 7:26 pm
~ Will not snap. Will be calm. Will not scream. ~
You are Professor X!
You are a very effective teacher, and you are very
committed to those who learn from you. You put
your all into everything you do, to some extent
because you fear failure more than anything
else. You are always seeking self-improvement,
even in areas where there is nothing you can do
to improve.
Which X-Men character are you most like?
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Aaaanyway.
Mum. Is. Annoying. Me. She keeps on belittling me all the time, and I'm getting so fed up. I just want to get away from this place, and scream loudly at something. God, I swear Nanoo, Grandad, and Dad are the only people who are holding me together right now.
Argh. Back to homework. -_-; Project in tomorrow.
- Valentine Angel
| Mood: Annoyed |  |
04/05/2003 - 3:11 pm
~ "Mutants are regarded with fear, and suspicion..." ~
I went to see X-Men 2 yesterday (or X2, as they bizarrely seemed to have titled it). It was wonderful. And help me. I think I'm understanding why Chibz likes Hugh Jackman now. *tries to avoid impending crush*
Yesh. I downloaded the X-Men cartoon theme when I got back. I never got into the comics or X-Men Evolution (I watch it purely because Kurt mysteriously goes up from being a scary blue thing to a quite sexy blue thing. ^^;). But I was a big fan of the cartoons. I agreed with the message of the X-Men saga, despite it being criticised in the movie magazine that came free with the newspaper today.
They said that the essence of people's intolerance is wrong in the film; that mutants would become stars instead for their abilities and that suddenly political correctness volcabulary would have a whole new load of phrases to censor ("you freak" could be offensive to mutants!) - but I personally disagree. I've always compared world politics to a school playground (there really is no difference other than numbers and varying degrees of idiocy), and speaking as someone who got bullied for just being slightly different, I think the reaction to the mutant phenomenon is still valid today, not just for the '60s. So there, you silly critic. >:)
... So yeah. WATCH THE FILM.
And I will be asking my cousin if I can borrow his X-Men tapes he recorded off FoxKids, 'cos I didn't have Cable telly back then. I think the only episodes I didn't like were the Phoenix Saga ones. And any episode where another Marvel Comic hero made a cameo. Especially if it was Captain America. ¬_¬;
Righty, enough film blurb. ^^;
So, to begin the story, Dad wasn't gonna get to see me this weekend originally, just Saturday. Plans changed at the last minute and I got to see him Saturday and Sunday. ^_^ We went to the cinema and he was all like, "Wolverine wasn't in the original comics!" and I was like, "WOLVERINE IS THE DAMNED ICON OF THE X-MEN!" because, really, he is the character that made the cartoons for me. He was so badass (does this have a hyphen?), yet was always falling in love and having his ex's come back to kill him. ^^; Ohh, and Gambit going after Rogue cracked me up. I didn't like Rogue's portrayal as a teen in the film, but I've gotten used to it.
... I went back to film blurb. And rambled. Bad me.
After the film, Dad and I went back to Nanoo and Grandad's. I spent the evening writing something involving curry. And I think my trip to Texas is in the bag. WOO! Just need to turn the mother, and I'll book flights with Nanoo; who's gonna accompany me. Eee! ^__^
I'm feeling a little depressed despite things looking up. Need some girl-to-girl advice that doesn't come from Spayley, because Spayley's so blunt and ruthless. Ahh, I admire her for it, but it's not my style.
I still need to write a letter to my host family; I'll be typing it at home tonight. -.-; Gotta do coursework and wonderful exam practice stuff tomorrow on Bank Holiday in prep for the week - but hey, it's nearly all over. July 18th is the day we officially break up for the college year.
Did I mention my father is wonderful? ^^;; For ages, I've been thinking about getting a new PC. The one I have: the monitor is being a pain, the soundcard's busted, I have no screwdriver to remove the back and sort out a few things, Windows 98 is a bitch, and a 20GB HD is just not enough for me. Plus, I don't have a CD-RW drive for the machine either, which I need. Oh, and the down key on the keyboard has packed up.
Atleastit'snotthefrickingspacebar. ^^
The speed's pretty good, but nowadays a lot of programs require more than 128MB RAM.
So, I have the money in my account; and I've been keeping my ears out for a good deal. I didn't even mention it to Dad, and he came out with, "your PC's getting quite old now, Charley. We'll have to see about getting you a new one for Christmas."
... Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! *__*
Oh yes. He even asked me how much disk space I thought I'd need. 80GB would do me fine - I wouldn't even need the downstairs PC anymore; I could purely game upstairs (currently I can't run games on the upstairs PC because the monitor messes the colours up and usually crashes the game). But, he told me as Debs part-runs her company; she could order a top-of-the-range, low-price business-standard PC and then buy it off them, and give it to me. Which would be an absolute godsend. And flat-screen monitors are becoming a norm with most business computers I've seen on sale, too. I would dearly love one of those. ^___^;;;
I've blurbed and bored you enough, I feel, and now I'll finish this little piece about curry. ^^;;;
- Valentine Angel
| Mood: Worried, but happy |  |
02/05/2003 - 10:00 am
~ Test test test test test. Pie. ~
*bzshhhhh!*
Quite right, I say.
Whee. Better get back to work. Deadlines suck. @_@ Bad me!
Note: Wrote fics last night. Bad me again. But I'm happy...! *whispers* ... I wonder if Hal really can program icecream into VR...
- Valentine Angel
01/05/2003 - 11:05 am
~ Generous Grandparents. <3 ~
Oh life, how ye is crazy.
I got home yesterday and went to do my coursework. I ended up... um. Not doing it. Spayley called. I answered. And then we realised it was 8pm and we hadn't finished our respective coursework. O_O; ... Okay, we hadn't even started it. Godammit, I'm too easily distracted... ^^;
So I gotta do it today. Oops. >_<
Um. Lemme see, the good stuff. I got MGS-1 Snake on Substance. HE IS SO HARD. Like, impossibly difficult. Scott is still stuck on Tuxedo's (barely). His masculinity is at stake. >D Oh, and my tutor's classic quote upon seeing Scott: "he's the kind of strapping man I'd go for if I were homosexual." *DIES*
Ohh, and I got fun mediary stuff courtesy of aforementioned boi. I have a wonderful MGS 2 desktop theme now. It does the Codec call sound on Netmeeting! Whee! *bounces around like sad little fangirl*
Nanoo joined the Evil Plot to get me to Texas next month. Did I mention this? *can't remember and is too lazy to check* - She pointed out places to go and where she went in Texas etc. Hee. The tourist guide was seriously up its own arse though, it made me laugh. "A hurricane brings a bit of spice to the otherwise boring monotony of perfection"
...
So, the wheels of the Evil Plot are turning. Nanoo has offered to accompany me on the flight and stay at a motel so she can fondly revisit places and maybe skip over to Mexico on a connection flight, and also they offered cash, bless my grandparents. I'm not taking it - my holiday, I pay. Oh, and they're more than happy for me to steal the use of the webcam on Saturday. Just gotta make sure I pack my microphone so Dad can talk. *quake* I get soooo embarrassed by voice convos. <_< Damn telephone phobia. Me hopes this is okay Faye! ^__^;; *hug*
So, me is gonna work on site update this weekend now I have a bank holiday Monday to look forward to - this is, of course, if mother doesn't go on about the evil of the computer etc. Le sigh.
And I'm out of things to say - back to work!
- Valentine Angel
| Mood: Whee! |  |
27/04/2003 - 2:53 pm
~ Sweet Dreams ~
I've just been downloading Annie Lennox songs - I have the tapes, but they're burning out, so I'm gonna make myself the CDs instead. I forgot just how wonderful her voice was until I started listening to A Whiter Shade of Pale, and Sweet Dreams... *_*
Legend In My Living Room is also one of my favourites, but I'm having problems tracking down a decent quality .mp3. <_< Must. Have. Song!
Well, I'm still not chirpy about my homelife, but I'm feeling better. I'm actually getting pay finally for the work I do around the house! £10 for my months/years worth of babysitting. ^^ Still, it's cash, and it'll all go towards the going-abroad-that-may-not-happen. ^_~
Yesterday morning, I got a letter from my Japanese host family!!! I'll be going south of Osaka! ^__^ Not too far from pretty Kyoto! I want Chibz to be online so we can work out how to get to the Tokyo Games Show together! ^^;;;
I have 2 host sisters, and a host mother and father. One of my sisters is called Ai; she's the same age as me, and plays the piano, chess, Go, and likes reading and drawing. ^_^
I must write a letter back soon-like!
But unfortunately, my set list of chores for today includes tidying my room. -_-; So off I pip. And I need to get my coursework all finished ASAP... <_> Oh, the trauma. ^^;;
*sings* "Have mercy, have mercy on me..."
- Valentine Angel
| Mood: Musically inspired? |  |
25/04/2003 - 9:19 pm
~ "Don't worry, my Lord... I have a cunning plan." ~
Well, I'm back from Devon... yeah. Let's not talk about this happy subject. Although I was amused people there took the piss out of my accent... aaaaah! ^^;;;
Anyway, the point I wanted to make was (I really shouldn't be getting my hopes up), next month I might get my first holiday alone abroad!
Last entry, I mentioned Faye's spare tickets. So, er, nowhere exotic. Just wanna visit Nekura Otacon over... uh... *gets out atlas* Texas! ^^;;; And go to A-Kon with her. She's cosplaying as Otacon (what a surprise!) ^_^ And, I have the cash and everything, plus I found my cheap flight. But Mum said I can't go.
However, I phoned my Dad, who I had discussed the idea with before, and he said I could, on a few conditions:
1. He knows I'm not going to see an untrustworthy internet pervert. ^^;;; This means phone calls. And possibly the webcam.
2. He being able to persuade my mother to let me go.
3. Me abling to pack my suitcase.
4. Proving I'm doing okay in my collegework to Mum (because I know my Mum will use this as leverage, and goddammit, the college year is almost finished! There's not a lot I can do to change my grades now!)
But... but... I really want to go! God knows I need a break from all the crap I get at home! >_<; Believe me, I'm looking forward to going to Japan... and I'm rethinking my education plans seriously... Ican get back from Japan and find a good full-time job (which will be a matter more on luck than skill), then I won't need a second year at college - and I can get a mortgage and leave home. And although I want to go to University, I can't make myself unhappy by trying to stick to one life-long perfect plan.
I'm seeing Dad next weekend, of course, and I plan to talk to him about a good few things I talkedtohim about before, because I never wanted my Mum to feel I was taking sides since they divorced when I was 10. I'm not 10 anymore, and I keep wondering why I'm afraid of trying to make my life better, and why I've stuck to these unwritten rules I made for myself.
Do I sound weird? ... Yeah, I do. -_-; Okay... maybe it's because Ican't take this anymore. It's not like Mum and I don't get on all the time. We joke together and sing Disney songs in the car. But the way she talks to me when I'm just being myself, it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong all the time.
Still, for good news: me nearly finished an MGSlash update! The only problem is HTMLing all the submission fics! *hugs authors* thanks, everyone, for giving me some great reading material! ^__^ Just so you know I'm working!
- Valentine Angel
| Mood: Mixed up |  |
21/04/2003 - 10:58 pm
~ Anger, hate... I just want peace. ~
I tried again. I phoned my Dad and asked for advice. I tried to calmly talk to my mother. I asked, why couldn't I stay? It's logic!
Do you know what this mess comes down to? Blackmail. Mum isn't allowed to go along on the holiday if I don't go, as decreed by His Royal Arsehole, The Bastard.
... That is so despicably low, words fail me.
So. I was completely horrified, and cried (some more...) and locked myself in my bedroom. Mum and I had a talk, and she agreed to stay with me at home. I thought there'd be a solution.
Oh, but his Royal Arsehole came back from the shops. Mum tried to explain, and the door slamming and yelling commenced. From him.
I, by now, was absolutely livid. What nerve does he have, using threats and throwing temper tantrums when life doesn't go his perfect little way?
I ran to the top of the stairs, both Mum and me were crying, and I yelled at him, "don't yell at my Mum, it's all my fault!" and he temporarily calmed down enough to moan at me as well. So, I stated why - again - calmly. He yelled at me, accusing me of talking down to him. (Well. I was on top of a flight of stairs. Does that count?)
So. He yelled out in his ranting fit that now none of us would go at all. I was shaking... everything is my fault; I ruined everything for everyone... in the end, now, I've been cajoled into going. I don't want to go, and I have A Plan.
If things are bad, I've got money in my purse, and I'll get myself home from Devon. I was almost adjusting to going, you know, working out how I'd work when I got back, but given his behaviour... he scares me. He needs anger management, and I don't trust him not to turn violent given his past record. I don't forgive, and I certainly don't forget... not when he's blown it so many times.
Right. I'm all worked up now, and still angry. Have to get up early tomorrow for the pointless drive to nowhere, so I'd better sleep. But first: I prove that when feeling depressed, its not a good idea to take a test:
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid: | High |
| Schizoid: | High |
| Schizotypal: | Very High |
| Antisocial: | Low |
| Borderline: | Very High |
| Histrionic: | High |
| Narcissistic: | Moderate |
| Avoidant: | High |
| Dependent: | High |
| Obsessive-Compulsive: | High |
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- | |
Goodnight, everyone... ;_;
| Mood: Angry | |
21/04/2003 - 6:05 pm
~ Happiness, once again, is shortlived. >_< ~
I've been home for three hours now, and my family have succeeded in ruining every positive thought I tried to have getting back.
Once again, they showed their incapability to care that there's a member of their family named Charshy.
They just announced for the next four days, we'll be going on "holiday" to Devon. This means a six hour drive to Dullsville there and the same time getting back.
This means staying at Erin's grandparents' house (I am in no way related, thus I am the black sheep), meaning I have to pretend I like Lee 24/7. Which I don't.
This means, that the week I'd planned to do my coursework and everything was set, is utterly ruined.
And of course, this was all done without my consultation or the consideration of what I want.
So, I argue the rationality of me staying here whilst they go. It would be stupid for me to go. I'm not related to these people, I don't want to go to Devon and I have to do my collegework as there are coursework deadlines next week, and seeing as Mum forever nags me about these it would be ever so slightly important for me to pass my exams .
Oh no, I have to go. Despite all reasoning.
This isn't why I'm angry. I can understand they want me there, to be as a family. It's the attitude I get faced with when I try and make a point.
I quote.
"Mum, can't I stay here? I need to do my collegework. It's important."
"Well, you should have thought about it earlier. You should have done it last week."
"It's the Easter holidays, I planned last week. [I shopped for presents, went and saw J, Dad etc.] and I planned to do my coursework this week! You know that!"
"It doesn't matter! For you to say you are not going is totally unfair."
"Unfair?! Yes, it's totally unfair of YOU to do this without considering what I'd planned. I can't miss my coursework deadlines."
"Tough. You should have thought about it earlier."
Mum hadn't even TOLD me earlier, she just springs it on me out of the blue. This is fucking ridiculous. Wouldn't a normal family ask if their semi-legal adult daughter has plans of any sort? Doesn't examwork come first, according to my mother, and my *cough* "social life" second?
So now she tells me I have to do it all tonight. There is no way in HELL I can do all my work tonight.
I am angry, because once again I have been treated like a child when making a logical argument. I am angry because a decision has been made where I had no part in it. And I am angry because I am going to have to pretend to enjoy four days I am going to hate, because if I behave otherwise I will be told I am ungrateful etc etc, and Lee will most likely yell at me and, if I made him mad enough, he'd break things. But I've never gotten him that mad, because his shouting fits are scary enough.
I. Am. Angry.
If there's anyone reading this, please e-mail me and tell me whether I'm just paranoid or if I'm in the wrong. I need it. I have no "normal" family to compare against, but I feel deep down that I don't deserve to be treated as though I can be slung in a luggage bag as not to be an inconvenience for the fun of everyone else.
I feel betrayed and, once again, completely useless in this family.
Thankyou for listening... -_-
- Valentine Angel
| Mood: Angry | |
21/04/2003 - 11:12 am
~ Chocolate! TV Chocolate! ~
*boing! bounce! flap!*
Yesh, Charsh is on a chocolatey high. Still sad, 'cos she'll be going home in an hour. But... chocolatey high! ^_^;
Also helps she got good news!
Well, last night she was chattering online as she does. And Faye had tickets for this anime convention over the ocean in America. >D And Charshy has some bank account money. Once Charsh checks she has no exams, she might flee the country! XD
Oh, and guess what else has happened! She has cash! I have cash! For easter, instead of eggs and me being sick, ^^;; I got money. £20. Plus, Dad gave me money for my train journey up, and its more than I spent... I have £70 here including the Easter money! ^______^ Eeee!
Hope things are okay when I get back.
I'm eating toast now, so away I go!
- Valentine Angel
*hyper flap*
18/04/2003 - 5:21 pm
~ Out of my bubble! ~
Whee! I'm at my Dads, catching up on the odd e-mail. ^_^
I had fun at J's! I didn't get lost on the train or anything, and lemme tell ya, the weather over Easter is set to be absolutely gorgeous. I'm wearing summer clothes. O_O; Apart from shorts. I'm not brave enough to try yet. ^^;
But anyway, Chibz and I wandered all over London. I ran around Hamleys like... a kid in a toy store. Funny, that. ^^;;;
And Forbidden Planet! It's, like, the ultimate geek shop! I wanted the MGS 1 artbook sooooo much. ;_; But I restrained myself. Stupid Easter presents. ^^;;
And we went to a Haagen Daz restaurant and I had a mango sorbet and lemonade smoothie, and we shared a bowl of Baileys icecream and raspberry sorbet. ^__^ I was one happy but sick little girl. Who needed the toilet. And it cost 20p. Damn London! XD
And when I was practically falling over ('cos, I was carrying a bag of clothes and stuff all day in the heat...), we went back to Chibi J's house and had a Substance contest. ^^; I was sooo happy I'm not the only person who turns into a demon on Snake's skating level! "MUST. RESET. IF. I. CRASH. ON. FIRST. RAMP."
And Chibi J is definitely Sniper Wolf (as she plans to cosplay for the Tokyo Games Show) - she did my PSG-1 mission for me that I find impossible. ^_^ yay!
And I got to see her gorgeous sketchbooks... I'm telling you, its scary picking one of those up. I'm terrified I'm gonna sneeze on it or fold it or something, and ruin all the fantastic colouring. And a sidenote: Chibz... send me that Liquid pic! ^_~
... I'm rambling now, yes, I am. So, knowing I had a good time and all at her house, what did I do today!
Last night, I, uh, left something at Waterloo station. >_< Shit. I'm gonna have to call them up, and pray I get what I left back.
But anyway, today I went shopping in Windsor with Dad, Deborah and the kids. ^__^ See, it's my Easter present. But, I didn't find any clothes that fitted. I also need shoes. And to buy the Eggness for everyone tomorrow. <_<; Yeah, oops, I left it to the last minute.
So tomorrow, we're going to do more shoppering, and it'll be fun. ^__^
Ells is probably watching Takeshi's Castle (I am hopelessly addicted to it also. Sorry.), and Tabs is playing Tekken 3 next to me. Debs and Dad are asleep. And I think I might follow suit. ^^;; I'm soo sleepy. I blame the heat. Me? Stay up late? Wouldn't do that. ^^;
Anyway, I am happy.
Oh, and a while back, I made mood icons for my diary, and... my other diary. ^_~ So. I now finish this blurbful entry!
- Valentine Angel
| Mood: Happy | |
15/04/2003 - 4:26 pm
~ Yayness! ~
A lot to write, and little time to do it in, so I'll just go over what I need to say and start packing my bags and checking train timetables.
I just got back from shopping, and I'm sleepy. Early night for me - lots of things to do for tomorrow!
Yesh, I'm in a happy mood at the moment, because I'll be away from home for four days in a row...! ^__^
*bounce* So, the task for tonight is to talk Chibi J's ear off about stuff, 'cos, I'll be staying at her house tomorrow! So I gotta work out what train I'll be getting, what times, where, how! Which will be funny, because my organizational skills are famously poor. Oh, and find out how far ahead of me she is in the VR missions so I can catch up tonight. >D
Then, Thursday eve, I'll see my DADDY! ^____^ And I'll be staying with him over Easter 'til Sunday eve/Monday morning. Whenever he wants me to go home. ^^;
So as you can imagine, I'm really happy! I'll get out of this dump and have some fun.
Well, I went shopping today for presenties for Easter. Spent a lot of money, but I always do. I'm worried about how much it'll be to London, and from London to Reading, and from Maidenhead to "home" again... O_o; About £50, I estimated, so I went to the bank. I hope to god it's not more than that. -.-;;; I'm already down to £500 in my account, and that's all the money I have in the world. That money is the money I need to save for University fees. Or a helluva lot of manga in Japan. ^_~
But, uh, yeah. Severe skippy fangirlyness tomorrow with the wonderful J *hug*, and then seeing Dad and Deborah *hugs*. Oh, and the kids will be there too!!! I haven't seen Tabs and Ells for a while. Hope they don't kill each other over Easter, and I also hope Tabs will be in a good mood... for everyone's sakes ^_^;
Then it'll be back home for coursework and revision hell. And updating MGSlash as a bright spot. BUT FIRST: THE FUN!
- Valentine Angel
01/04/2003 - 11:02 am
~ The Evil Plot ~
Hee. I finished a fic. 'Tis on the MetalGearSlash ML. *happy* I also nearly finished the Liquidy fic, despite being banned from the PC. Go me!
I've come up with a perfect plot to render my ban useless! If I download Word when I can get online with no one looking, then I'll have a half-decent word processor upstairs I can use. ^_^ As soon as my monitor's all fixed up and the cappy card and new soundcard go in (which, due to technical difficulties, will take a while, *sob*), I will have an ass-kicking media-making machine. Bwahahahahaha.
But anyway-like, I should be working. ... Bah, I'll roll on a little longer.
Okay, I finished Snake Tales. ^___^ Wow. Gotta love the Commandant remix. XD Also found inspiration in an Otacon quote for some naughty business in the VR machine because it would be fun. ^^;
Oh, and people in my Computing class now know the link to this diary. And they like the knee-humping picture I drew! XDDD Poor souls. Oh, just as a favour to them so they don't have to trawl back so many pages:
HERE IT IS! ^___^;;;
- Valentine Angel
29/03/2003 - 8:57 pm
~ Arse Watching 2: Substance ~
Heya.
... I hate being sad about things right now. But anyway, I just wanted to apologise on everyone I talk to online for just up and vanishing mid conversation. This is due to the stupid, ridiculous punishment-for-doing-nothing-wrong that's been imposed on me by my Mum and her bastard - I mean, boyfriend. -_-; I don't get on with him, as you can probably tell.
I had a great day Friday, ruined by being yelled at. Scott and I went downtown and got our copies of Substance... and I was all impatient 'cos I had to go to the bank and withdraw my cash, wheras he had cash on him, and I was like, *bounce bounce* HURRY BEFORE THE SHOPS CLOSE! ^^;;
Anyway, I reserved my Substance, so I went into GAME, and they were like, "Oh. We sold out."
Quoi le fuck?!
"I RESERVED that game."
"Oh. Sorry."
T________________________T
... So then, we went to the other GAME. I want to say the guy who served me is gonna get a letter of praise written to his company. Not only did he price-promise the game so I got £3 off the retail price, he also gave me the customer careline number so I could complain about the other store not keeping my reservation. OH YEAH!
I can't say too much else without spoilers, but let's just say... I'm inspired to write some very wrong and dirty things for Snake and Otacon to do. Goddammit, I kept telling myself I'd get over my fixation on Snake, but if anything I'm now more addicted to him. Or something. ^^;;
*sighs* So yes. Had fun. Snakeboarding is also excellent, even if I suck. ... right, that's it. Off I go to writer somethin'.
- Valentine Angel
21/03/2003 - 11:44 am
~ Argh, argh, ARGH, I tell you. ~
Man, life is busy. Too busy to even write this diary entry. Sorry. Gotta go do things AGAIN... ¬__¬
- Valentine Angel
18/03/2003 - 9:31 am
~ I'm sorry I'm miserable and bitching, but... ~
... Mum got my college report in the post. Guess what. I'm grounded... more so than before. I'm not allowed out, I'm not allowed to use the computer, watch television or see friends. I have to work when I get in from college, I have to work at college, I have to work lunch breaks as well.
... Right now, I hate everything, and I want to scream. Loudly. >_<
I suppose last night was fun. Spayley turned up on my doorstep so I got to see a friend... haven't seen friendly-people outside college for a few weeks. We chatted 'bout stuff. Mum spent the whole time belittling me and Spayley spent the time ignoring my Mum's comments about her stupid/useless daughter. Spayley dear, you're the best.
Crawled into bed... did doodle to cheer me up. A bit. -_-; I hate crying. It makes me more unhappy.
Tonight, I get to escape the house again, 'cos I'm gonna go back to my D of E. I hope I'll be okay, because you have to be as thickskinned a a... thickskinned thing... to survive THAT lot there. And I'm feeling quite sensitive, as if you couldn't tell... *sigh*
There's two things I'm looking forward to. One: the summer holidays, and seeing Destra. Two: going to Japan. Both are so far away.
Mum said if I fail my exams, she'll cancel my scholarship. Like I'll let her.
So, I won't be online for a while, and I'll be reading e-mails at college but pretty much unable to reply. -.- I'm sorry everyone. I'll be back. And sorry for sounding like such a moody cow all the time.
- Valentine Angel
15/03/2003 - 10:34 pm
~ Good Feelings ~
I had a brilliant day today. That's really a great thing to say, considering I've been feeling like crap, not being able to keep up with my work, not keeping my webmistress duties, my mother making me feel like crap...
I went to my Dads last night on the train. Today, Dad, his girlfriend Deborah and I went shopping down Windsor. I love Windsor... the castle in the town is H-U-G-E and the shops there are totally unique - not just chain stores, but there's all the general freakish fashion stores where you can get unusual clothes.
Well, I went into this shop and there was The Coat. It was REALLY cool. I put it on and I was like, wow. IT was a black coat, but it was special. Then I checked the price tag. £130... O_O; -sarcasm- a tad out of my price range. -/sarcasm-
Dad liked it too and he offered to go half on it with me. So I withdrew £70 and got the funkiest coat. ^__^ I'm dead chuffed with it. My Dad's nice like that, but it makes me feel so damn guilty.
So anyway, that was my major thanking session of the day, or so I thought... Deborah and I went to look for some clothes to generally wear, and, well... lets say Mum and I buy the kind of clothes that don't go above the £30 price. Deborah part-runs her own business, so we were in the kind of shops that back home, I'd probably get thrown out of as a potential shoplifter. -_-;
She then bought me the lovliest pair of trousers... I mean, she's not even my stepmother, yet she's so nice to me... we went to a bookshop and she practically forced a Japan guide into my carrier bag. She seems so happy for me getting there...
We met up with my Dad at the pub, The Slug and Lettuce (which the signpost, in its swirly writing, makes it look like the "slag and lettuce"), and then we just chilled over some cola. And then I asked them why they bought me all that stuff.
They told me they just wanted to, and you know what, I almost cried. I know that sounds so lame/cheesy, but back with Mum I feel so unwanted I forgot what it was like for someone to want to treat me. They spent time with me. They treat me like an adult. I wish it was like that back home.
Ugh, I'm crying now. I'll shut up. I had fun... I have tomorrow, then I gotta go back. -_-
- Valentine Angel
14/03/2003 - 10:13 am
~ *whip crack* ~
 | Villains fear me. Hal Emmerich is... |
I. Am. Not. Smirking.
Of course, I wasn't sad enough to put fictional names into the thing. Nuh-uh. Did I mention "Valentine Angel" is "The Hat-Wearing Crusader?" XD
- Valentine Angel
13/03/2003 - 10:26 am
~ What have I been up to? ~
--- Monday 10th March, 12:00-1:00pm ---
Hey everyone!
Okay, the bad news in my life first (which, to admit, is small). On the London Underground, some bloody pickpocket got my mobile phone. T_T Which caused a few problems. I'm going to the police station tonight or tomorrow to report it so when it comes up, I can claim insurance. *phew*. Other bad news includes me being dreadfully behind in work. Reasons coming up in good news...
The Good News! - On Thursday I had my BCG injection, so I got college off. Oi, Scott, you told me it didn't hurt! It stung. It wasn't bad, but it was irritating... at least the blister went away pretty quick. I've got a little scar on my arm now. ^_^;
But Friday was the best day. After arguing with my mother that, yes, I am perfectly capable of travelling to London on my own, and calling up my Dad to tell HER I was capable also, I got the 11am train to Waterloo for the Japan orientation.
Didn't get lost or anything, and I found my way to the place we were staying, which was a hotel sort of thing for boy/girl scouts (we all slept in one big dorm room).
Found Lorraine and got a little name badge, and met the other finalists. I got on well, I think, with Laura Hunt and Rachelle. They were nice.
Anyway, the lessons of the weekend. We played some culture games, which were all observation... each one of us was given something we were told would be culturally offensive to us (mine was playing with hair while talking), and we had to talk to someone else in the room and they had 2 lives not to "offend" us. One person offended me (Laura. ^^) and I lost both lives in 0.3 seconds (I broke eye contact. ^^;;; I hate eye contact).
We learnt how to appreciate differences and things, and then we got to the highlight of the day (for me!) We were supposed to go out for a meal, and we were told - yep, it was a Japanese restaurant. Chopsticks. Sushi. Suddenly my stomach did a very nasty flip. I hadn't eaten all day because I was so nervous about not knowing the language, and it had all tensed up and it hurt, and then I was being told "hey! You now have a chance to hideously embarrass yourself by throwing sushi everywhere with your lack of chopstick skills!"
We went to the Japanese embassy... they have these huge airlock doors to stop Bad Evil People getting in, and so we tried to cram all 18 of us into this tiny airlock room... XD until the guy on the desk told us to go in a few at a time.
The two representatives of the Embassy of Japan then gave us a talk on the UK's relations with Japan... I had absolutely no idea the two countries had been trading since the 1600s. It was really interesting. Then they gave us a little gift bag with little brochures and a map of Japan. ^_^ Thankyou, Endo-san!
We went to the restaurant - bloody hell, it was posh. I felt seriously small and my tummy still hurt me. Which meant I did the stupid thing and ordered meat rather than the traditional fish for main course. I was afraid of facing a prawn. Prawns creep me out. I know it sounds daft, but I can only eat something if it doesn't look like what it originally was. I like squid as long as it doesn't have tentacles when I eat it. ^^;;
It was the coolest meal. 4 courses of "things" (I can't remember THAT many new words...) and I really started to like raw fish. ^___^ Yum. And I really really liked the food. That's a huge load off my mind... I won't starve over there! I had green tea there but I didn't like it too much, and the same goes for miso soup. Although I was told by one of the English representatives of YFU that it was too salty and not a good idea of what it's like. But eh... I got quite good with the ol' chopsticks.
--- Thursday 13th March, 10:15-10:30am ---
Forgive me, all... the worst has happened to me.
My Mum threw a fit 'cos I put my little sis to bed half an hour late on Tuesday, and has banned me from any computeresque activities for a fortnight. Noooooo! Well, that means my English essay writing will be out the window - and would you believe it, I was working on that goddamned MGSlash update too. T_T I am mega-pissed.
I guess the one highlight for the week will be seeing my Dad this weekend. Trouble is, at his house I know I won't do any homework, and I just keep on slipping further and further behind... in fact, as soon as I finish this entry, I'll be working on English essay, Design's case study, and next lesson the Design main project. Oh, and sometime today I need to spend about £10 doing my graphics work. >_< Life, ye suck.
Scott sent me the skating remix from Substance (his uncle owning a chippy-PS2, and he ripped), and I love it! It's so humpable! ^_^; I need to fix up my cappy card to the PC ASAP. Substance will never be the same once I've done a little video making, bwahahahaha! It's all reserved. I hope I can get up-to-date in my work by the 28th. Like hell is that gonna happen.... -_-;
Anyway, I won't be on AIM, MSN, ICQ or anything for a while, so sorry. I'll be able to answer e-mails at college though, and believe me I already tried installing AIM here. ^_~ I hate clever I.T. technicians. Back at my old school, they were stupid and I could dance all over their useless security systems, but here...!
Mum caught me using my PC last night - whoops - but it was all for a good cause. I finally got an idea for a fic I started once, like, last September... and I want to finish it now. ^.^ Righty, I'm rambling... hi ho, it's off to work I go...
- Valentine Angel
PS To Lady Snake: The Windows 95/98 error message idea is genius. XD
07/03/2003 - 8:51 am
~ Valentine's In Trouble ~
Going to see the Japan peeps soon. Catching the train to London Waterloo around 11am. Will get there for 3pm hopefully... and then will get the Tube.
AAAAAAH! WHY AM I BEING CALM!? I KNOW NO JAPANESE...........!
Ahem.
I'm only online 'cos I thought, "hm. who in the USA will be online at 2am?" and of course Mish was with the Evil Yaoi Girls. *grin*
*goes gets Vincent into a lotta trouble*
- Valentine Angel
04/03/2003 - 5:05 pm
~ *busts a rib* ~
XD I am DYING HERE.
This is the funniest thing. Kudos to Beaky's online hubby for this. Scary fanboys, I presume, who made this scary Snake and Otacon skit.
"I, uh, locked the keys inside Metal Gear. And I left the lights on."
... And I thought my Snake impersonations were bad!
- Valentine Angel
03/03/2003 - 7:24 pm
~ Feeling good and almost powerful ~
Halfterm concludes, and I haven't caught up with work, OR updated my website. I still feel tired. All I can say is: damn you, Kingdom Hearts.
... I been writering too ^_^ but really I need to do more to the original fic I was doing for the College Creates magazine. At least that way an English teacher can give me pointers on improving my meagre writing skills... she already picked up on the first chapter of the story that I have a bit of a preposition problem. I must finish that story. And it's perfectly clean, may I add. I can resist my yaoi urges. *proud* ^^;;;
This weekend I'll be seeing everyone who's going to Japan. All 15 of us from all over the UK are going to be on this orientation weekend - half of them or more will be departing this weekend for Japan. I have no idea how they feel, but I feel scared, but looking to the horizon as well with this urge to go and explore. I wish I was going now while this mood is still with me!
I found a song that expresses how I feel about going... so, it's by the Sugababes, but it's a really good song, and very apt... I've been listening to it far too much as of recent. It's a lot of how I feel now I left school and all the shit that happened behind.
Sugababes - Stronger
I'll make it through the rainy days
I'll be the one who stands here longer than the rest
When my landscape changes, re-arranges
I'll be stronger than I've ever been
No more stillness, more sunlight
Everything's gonna be all right
I know that there's gonna be a change
Better find your way out of your fear
If you wanna come with me
Then that's the way it's gotta be
I'm all alone
And finally I'm getting stronger
You'll come to see
Just what I can be
I'm getting stronger
Sometimes I feel so down and out
Like emotion that's been captured in a maze
I had my ups and downs
Trials and tribulations
I overcome it day by day
Feeling good and almost powerful
A new me, that's what I'm looking for
I know that there's gonna be a change
Better find your way out of your fear
If you wanna come with me
Then that's the way it's gotta be
I'm all alone
And finally I'm getting stronger
You'll come to see
Just what I can be
I'm getting stronger
I didn't know what I had to do
I just knew I was alone
People around me but they didn't care
So I searched into my soul
I'm not the type of girl that will let them see her cry
It's not my style
I get by
See I'm gonna do this for me
I'm all alone
And finally I'm getting stronger
You'll come to see
Just what I can be
I'm getting stronger
I'm all alone
And finally I'm getting stronger
You'll come to see
Just what I can be
I'm getting stronger
